Newbie Pack.

DeVore

We need a newbie pack. Its getting to the stage where there is just too much repeating of information to n00b's and to be fair this place is a landmine park infested with narky bastards

I have been meaning to write one for a while but I'm up to my tits. sooo...

Lets start a thread on the topic and write one together. (we can hold hands while we do, and perhaps skip a little).


What would be the top 10 things you'd tell a total n00b (apart from sit down and shut the **** up )

Serious answers please.

DeV.

Sposs

Read the stickys at the top of every forum before posting.

Lemming

Spend some time reading the other posts made before you begin posting (as a n00b) to get an idea of what goes and what doesn't.

Wouldn't want to get banned on your 1st or 2nd post

Gordon

How to use i][/i]img] )

How to put a picture onto the internet/boards space

hostyle

Crack it through their damn skulls not to take offence at every damn thing someone posts. This is the big mad intarweb, and everyone gets a have a go.

Advice like "if you get flamed, by all means write a reply straight away, but instead of hitting post as soon as you're finished, go away and have a breath of fresh air or a coffee or whatever it is you do to unstress. Then come back and re-read what they wrote and what you are about to post. See if you've changed your mind." would be good.

Also stuff like "its hard to take sarcasm and irony and hurried posts in context through the written medium" ...

And for gods sake someone posta a FAQ as to what Kitten Cake, Knights of Comeonbanus, and that whole Ninja episode are / were ...

yellum

Inform them what a troll is and how to not get caught by one so easily.

Victor

This is not a democracy. You have only a limited right to free speec on our part of the internet.

Thorbar

Beware of amp.

Read threads for a while before you start posting up stuff you'll get a better understanding of what's going on and what's acceptable to post.

Don't believe anything ******* posts.

Puck

Civility costs nothing. Learn the difference between disagreeing with somebody and fighting with them.

Victor

Originally posted by Thorbar
Beware of amp.

ww)

po0k

Remind them (especially the young 'uns) that they have an entire 105 or more keys in front of them. For the love of Dave and the written word, USE THEM.
No more truncated illegible "txt spk".
Nothing tugs my pubes more.

Also, the use of correct (or nearly correct) grammar, punctuation, spelling and language syntax is much appreciated and helps to ensure a minimum of misunderstandings regarding "cock" and "coke".

Oh, and regards eamon, would it too much trouble to hack in something that puts huge luminous green [SARCASM][/SARCASM] tags around his posts until the user has more then say....100 posts?

Victor

Originally posted by SyxPak
Also, the use of correct (or nearly correct) grammar, punctuation, spelling and language syntax is much appreciated and helps to ensure a minimum of misunderstandings regarding "cock" and "coke".

My sister did a sixth class year book for the kid's school and had to edit a large number of references to "coco cola and cocoa cola"

it's Coca Cola

. Then there was a guy whose favourite hobby(s) was "soccer playing bagpipes"[/spam]

CuLT

Careful what pictures you post, some may haunt you for the entire duration of your membership... .

Thankfully I avoided that... phew!

/me wipes brow.

DeVore

ok... this is good but could I ask something of you all:

dont say "DEV make sure they know about XYZ" because there are too many XYZ's to explain to all of them. So pick one that you REALLY wish they'd learn about and explain it so that we have a permanent record of explanations from the community of stuff they should know. a sort of crash course.
Amp is also drawing up an a-z but I thought a few "hey n00b... dont be a n00b and make this mistake..." comments would help too...

Dev.

PhilipMarlowe

I'd be inclined to leave it at the STFD & STFU tbh... (sorry SyxPak)

fisty

no having fun.


ah only joking
tell them not to put up posts relating to warez porn etc
tell them not to call people names directly
tell them not to believe all the things they read
tell them not to visit the CS board
tell them not to say anything which may be percieved as not
being politically correct.

Talliesin

One I would have at the very top:

Not reading the rules is against the rules. Not only is ignorance of the rules not a valid excuse in a dispute over moderator action, it is proof of guilt.

irishgeo

Tell them about the signature rules and how to use search as i often see newbie's asking questions that are only a page or two down in the forum listings.

DeVore

kinda ironic seeing how your sig breaks those rules irishgeo, lol!

DeV.

amp

1. Read the charters before posting.
2. Read the threads in a forum for a while.
3. Read the newbie faq.
4. If it's illegal in the real world then it's probably twice as illegal on boards.ie
5. Do not reply to warnings from a mod/admin on the thread. Post to Admin or pm the moderator or an admin.
6. Read the FAQ at the top.
7. Never post in anger or frustration. Take deep breaths, relax.Try to understand other peoples point of views.
8. If you have to flame somebody, try and be funny.
9. Beware of trolls.
10. If you don't like the rules of boards.ie, there are plenty of other bulletin boards on the interweb.

amp: who is pretty much finished the encylopedia thing, just got the technical bit to sort out now.

seamus

Admins and Moderators give their time freely. They are not here 24 hours a day, but usually are around at some time, most days.
All of the Administrators know eachother. Most of the Moderators have met eachother at one point or another. But they all live separate lives. They don't form some sort of 'click', nor do they conspire against certain users (unless the user is a muppet).
Moderators become moderators because they've been here a while and they've shown themselves intelligent and reasonably interested in a topic, or occasionally through some freak of nature. If it seems like everyone is taking their side, it's not because they're a moderator, it's because you're losing the argument.
Take note of what boards a moderator moderates when engaging them in discussion. Big red stars and extra taglines may look fancy and intimidating, but outside of their boards, they're just regular users like you, albeit with a good deal more experience.
An Administrator is like God, but tends only to get involved in a situation when a moderator requests their involvement. Otherwise they are just posters giving their opinion, not dictating what is fact. What Administrators say, goes. If you don't like it, they don't care. They don't get paid. So if it annoys you, tough.

(Probably a bit long )

Sloth

Tell them not to post 2 page spam threads of meaningless rubbish that gets them banned for 2 months which they later regret and still get stick about :rolleyes:.

Victor

The first rule of boards.ieclub is you must talk about boards.ieclub.

Clintons Cat

Try to make sure your signature isnt longer than your post.

Whilst the content of a post is more important than the person who said it,be aware that people will judge you by the contents of your posts...That drunken 5am post will come back to haunt you.

Be aware of the beauty and the power of languge,use it freely to express yourself,do not be afraid to challenge another persons point of view and do not take offence when someone challenges yours.

Listen to the wisdom of the moderators and the admins for they understand more than you think they do.What you think is the funniest prank ever has been done exactly one thousand times only 5 minutes before you logged on,probally by *******.

Respect the rules of grammer,do not abuse your caps lock key for it will stick and you will look like a fool.

Enjoy your time on boards for outside it things will change and bodies will age with time.Relationships will come and go. Here you can be what ever you want to be:a jester,a prophet,a king or a queen.Free from the constraints of the ordinary world you can let your intellect soar to unimagined hieghts into unfamilliar and unexpected areas of creativity,wisdom and wit, limited only by your own imagination.

you are not as stupid as you think you are.

Be careful whose advice you listen to, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the Caps Lock.







ww)

amp

Originally posted by Clintons Cat
Try to make sure your signature isnt longer than your post.

There's a USENET refugee if I ever heard one



amp: who's just sticking this thing in to make it appear that this post is bigger than my sig.

irishgeo

Originally posted by DeVore
kinda ironic seeing how your sig breaks those rules irishgeo, lol!

DeV.

DOH!

Sorry I''ll change it.

Makaveli

Learn how to use spoiler tags.

Sloth

no

DeVore

Sloth from your sig:

"you know what... I ****in hate you..." -DeVore
"Sloth. You are a major jerk do you know that?" -DeVore
"Please get off my tits. Thank you." -DeVore

The first is a quote from www.redvsblue.com I dunno when I said the other two to you but you know what, even if I didnt I'll stand by them. Now can you keep you "funny" remarks off this thread. I'm beginning to regret unbanning you from here already.

Back on topic, I intend to clean up this thread and put it as a link in the welcome message (so smile, you're on Candid Camera Thread).

DeV.

Sangre

Originally posted by Clintons Cat

you are not as stupid as you think you are.

You are not as intelligent as you think you are.

Gordon

One cannot edit a post that is older than 2 days. This is to ensure that history is not erased while recent mistakes can be corrected.

To have a picture in your post or in your signature - you firstly need to make sure that it is put onto the internet in some way.

You can 'link' your picture if it is contained in another website, or you can link your picture if you have loaded it into a boards webspace. You have to signup (for free) for boards.ie webspace if you wish to do this - here.

You can then obtain the link from the picture and put it into your post/signature by typing this:

[img]www.theplacewhereyourpictureis.com[/img]